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Lifestyle choice #1

If you are currently questioning keeping a toxic or unhealthy person in your life or not, I’ve got some tips.

Tip 1: Communication is key! A lot of those conversations have probably already happen ( arguments about ditching of plans constantly one sided, or arguments where you have tried to explain how you feel and it just doesn’t go anywhere).

Being blunt isn’t the worst idea. You can still be blunt and nice at the same time.

If you are dealing with someone who isn’t acknowledging their problem or isn’t willing to do anything to fix their problem, it is quite acceptable to cut ties. Yes even with a family member. You see, you can’t fix people. They need to have the motivation to change. You can’t give them that.

No matter what you do or say or try, if this person doesn’t want to change, THEY WONT! Don’t try to change this person. Don’t think ” If I behave or go the extra mile for this person, that’ll work, they’ll change. But then a few years or however long after it’s back to the same unhealthy, toxic loop.

Tip 2: I’m all for helping other people out, but don’t let this person or this persons life engulf you. You shouldn’t be spending all of your time thinking about this other person (“What will they do if I say/do this?”)

Tip 3: Listen, this isn’t going to be easy. Yes, it’s going to hurt, and totally suck. They may totally hate you and spread hateful shit about you to your friends and family. But you know what? You are the bigger person. You took the high road and made the mature decision to end a relationship that wasn’t ok with you. I also hope on that high road, you stay far away from social media when you are emotional.

Tip 4: Don’t stoop down to their level. Those stupid statuses on Facebook they write, bitching about how horrible you are?….. Just Block. I always found that after I blocked someone on Facebook, I tend to forget about them. I also try to think that blocking them is a permanent option. That way, at first glance, there isn’t any other option than to leave them currently blocked.

Tip 5: If you are going to trash talk, keep it offline and to only a select few. First of all, no one on Facebook needs to know about these dirty details. Second of all, the other person if they are petty will already be spreading their own shit. The people who know you well enough will know the truth. It’s perfectly ok to rant and rave about this person, but don’t let that be the constant reaction.

Tip 6: You may lose other people in the process. Sometimes, people who aren’t involved in the immediate situation will pick sides. Some people will put their “shields” up and deny any mature decision you make, likely because they are afraid of what could happen from you making that decision solo. You will find out who is meant to be in your life and people who you are better off without.

Tip 7: Even though you broke off the relationship, it is still perfectly ok to grieve the loss of it. There was some part of you invest in that relationship, some more than others. That part needs to heal and deal with the loss.

Tip 8:Don’t let anyone tell you how to feel. Don’t let anyone tell you, you should be over it by now, or it shouldn’t have been a big deal. If you feel the only way you can talk to this other person about these feelings is through the internet, you go ahead. Don’t be ashamed to take the faceless route. These things can be hard.

Tip 9: After all of this, what matters is how you deal with it. You can dwell on it, and let it consume your life or you can grieve the loss and move on.

I hope this helps! If you have any questions email me at dmagoffin34253465@gmail.com, I’m willing to try to help in any way. 🙂

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The whole idea of my blog.

This is where I can be uncensored and honest. I’m fueled by my emotions, so I may make overreaction posts, but that’s just my knee jerk reaction.

That’s one of my rules here, is no matter what be honest. And if you don’t agree and have an opinion yourself, please do share. But debate the rights and wrongs with me, don’t nitpick what I’m saying.

Everyone is going to view what I say differently. If you are offended by something I say, I’m sorry but this is my platform to be BRUTALLY honest. And besides no one is forcing you to read this. If you agree, share,comment or email me with your opinions. I want to be open here, and I won’t censor myself because there are people who are offended by what I say.

Progress

Today marks the 10th day I’ve jogged in a row. 

Everyday I’m feeling better about myself. Everyday I’m experiencing new positive feelings in regards to my whole “self”. 

I’ve never in my life, liked my body. I’ve always had issues with how I saw myself. I could never understand what people were seeing when they called me beautiful. I have a father who would repeatedly when I was a teenager tell me about how these woman we see on the street are “beautiful” with their big boobs and long hair. I noticed pretty early on, that these women ( of all ages) were all slim or just overall tiny people. I spent a lot of my teenage years comparing myself to these women, and feeling really crappy about myself.

Never once did he pick out an average or overweight person and fawn over them. I was already having self esteem issues, so hearing that day in and day out was hard. I didn’t know it back then, but I certainly understand it now. 

But for once in my life, I actually smile when I look in the mirror, my negative self talk has turned into empowering positive self talk. I actually enjoy looking at myself in the mirror after many years of shying away from it.

I’m so happy and proud of myself for overcoming these problems, to finally see that beautiful woman that people have told me existed but I couldn’t see her.

Update

I haven’t posted in a while, honestly because there hasn’t been a whole lot going on. 

I’ve reconnected with my best friend, and I feel really good about it.  I was able to be honest and upfront about my feelings. I’m excited to see how that friendship grows from here.

We are seeing my mom and grandma next week and I couldn’t be any more excited for that. Not only do I get to spend some quality time with my mom and grandma, I also get alittle break from this chaos.

Even though we haven’t had much going on, it’s always stressful. But I have figured out ways to deal with everything and to let go of things I can’t control. 

I’ve started jogging. Small jogs but definitely one that will get the pulse going. I’ve done 8 Days so far. I even got the whole family in on today’s jog. 

It’s only up from here. 🙂

What is wrong with the world?

A story came out of the States recently, and I’d like to take a few moments and talk about it.

First of all, Rest in Peace Jamel Dunn.

Second of all, if you have not heard, there were 5 teenagers who were hanging out by a pond, when they saw 31 year old Jamel Dunn walking up to the fenced off pond. They watched as this 31 year old disabled man, walk right into the pond. And then they decided to start videotaping. They were seen mocking and laughing at Jamel as he was seen drowning. Then, they heard a scream from the background, laugh and say “he just died”

Jamel was pleading for help, all the while these guys were laughing and having a great ole time.

I can’t even begin with this. I read an article today about how the teenagers didn’t have a “legal duty” to help this man. And what is astounding to me is that, that is even a point of contention. If they had no intention on helping the man, they should have just left. How heartless do you have to be to watch someone die and laugh and joke about it at the same time? I hope the Judge presiding over the case makes an example out of these teenagers. They chose to act like adults and should be send to adult jail. Where in my opinion, they should just stay.

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/teenagers-who-laughed-while-filming-disabled-man-drown-had-no-legal-duty-to-help-a7854381.html#-/web/categories/1073751853-1500735028252-trackingCode-/BW77aw+Q4R9yDGP5kHARYx4wLXe/vNNZtQ1j+lrmFTtWBv0/h31AkaJtbo3KYVq-articleId-411855710-vv-412764b4-ca0a-45cf-8d7e-7e1b44635026

Achievement Hunter

Anyone into them?

These guys are hilarious. They play video games but their commentary is absolutely golden. I’ve watched them for years off and on.

And they never fail to make me laugh.

Dog owners

IF YOU OWN A DOG, PICK UP THE DOG POOP! 

It’s simply not that hard. If your dog takes a shit, just pick it up. Don’t leave it for your neighbours, be a responsible dog owner.

This is seriously just being lazy. If you can’t properly take care of your pet, don’t have one. I’ve gotta clean my cats litter box, so you should have to clean up after your pet too.

Twice now, I’ve had to pick up somebody else’s dogs crap. Because I don’t want to step in it, and I certainly don’t want my daughter to step in it. 

Failure.

Sometimes I feel like a failure.

Most times I feel like I’m a failure as a mom, so much so that I wonder sometimes why she even smiles and likes me because I don’t see myself as a good mom.

Sometimes I feel like a failure as a wife. Sometimes there just isn’t any winning. 

I just feel like I fail in every aspect of my life, and sometimes it all is just too much.

Friday :)

Well, Friday is almost over, and I have accomplished almost nothing today.

I haven’t felt well all day so I’ve been hanging out in my bed for the day.

I’m hoping to feel better this weekend so I can get some much needed laundry done. 

I hope everyone has a good Friday and a good weekend 🙂