Failure.

Sometimes I feel like a failure.

Most times I feel like I’m a failure as a mom, so much so that I wonder sometimes why she even smiles and likes me because I don’t see myself as a good mom.

Sometimes I feel like a failure as a wife. Sometimes there just isn’t any winning. 

I just feel like I fail in every aspect of my life, and sometimes it all is just too much.

Whatever you are feeling….

Whatever you are feeling know it’s okay to feel that way.

No matter what people say, your feelings are your own. Nobody can feel them quite like you do.

Sometimes people don’t understand these feelings. But, what matters is that we understand these feelings and learn how to deal with them. 

Holy crap guys! The morning I had…

Literally, I just want to restate the title, holy crap guys, the fricking morning I had…. was full with anxiety, and feelings of scared, worried,irritation the works.

I’m a lot better now, but my anxiety made my morning so much worse than it had to be. My chest hurt, I was nauseous right from 7 this morning to like 1130. I had to attend a legal thing that I had never been part of before. So I was terrified because I had no idea what to do, what to say, where to go. 

Terrified that the other party would tear me to shreads, which thankfully he didn’t. He turned about to be a nice and understanding guy.

It did work out in the end, and I am satisfied with the outcome. I am stronger from that, but this anxiety is really intense.

Anxiety Inducing situations.

I’ve got a big one coming up tomorrow, and am absolutely terrified.

I am constantly put in situations that even though they help me grow, they produce so much anxiety prior to the event. I feel pressure on my chest, and a feeling of dread was over me.

I’m prepared to do the best that I can, and hopefully be prepared enough to get my point across.

I’ve researched, gotten all of my papers together, but I’m still scared because this is a completely new experience for me, and one that has legal ramifications on top of that.

I hope I can do this.

 

Social Anxiety

What is Social Anxiety? “Social anxiety is the fear of social situations that involve interaction with other people. 

I have been experiencing social anxiety all my life, without really knowing it. I always thought I was just socially awkward and shy.

Every single interaction with someone has been a struggle for me. I have always been afraid of being judged negatively. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve got plenty of reasons to worry about that. 

My brother was never the compassionate or empathetic one. He was always the spiteful and hurtful one. If he knew your weakness, he would use it against you when he was mad. In the most vile ways. He has always insulted my appearance, my capabilities to hold down a job, my parenting ability. He’s also called me every name in the book, so my skin is pretty thick. 

My dad, on the other hand was more of a joker. More surface than he was deep. He was certainly deep, I figured out a while ago, but he definitely wouldn’t outwardly express it. Everything was a joke to him. I guess that made it easier for him to deal with. So any reaction I got was either super critical or a joke. 

I’ve also had to deal with a lot of bullying in my school years. So yeah, social interactions have always been a sore spot.

But surprisingly enough, I’m super outgoing and loud. Social anxiety has given me a lot of restrictions for a lot of years and I wasn’t even aware of it.

Questions and Advice

I am full of knowledge and am completely open minded.

I want all questions, advice, rants or anything you want a second opinion on. I’ve got a perspective that is completely different than anyone else’s. And I’m dying to help people. 

So come on, leave a comment..or you can send me an email at dmagoffin34253456@gmail.com if you would like privacy. I may even post my general opinions with discretion. I won’t name names, or use any specific details. And I won’t post an opinion at all if you ask me.

Small town vs city 

The debate has cross my mind often. And for a while I wanted to stay in the city because everything is here. I loved most of my life here so of course I’m going to want to stay.

But recently I’ve taken some trips to some small towns, and I’m reminded why I like them more.

You see, I’m super compassionate and kind. And living in a city will not allow that. The more people,the more amentities, the more “busy” everything gets. There’s a certain hustle and bustle of a city. 

But in small towns everything is slower, people are nicer, and more patient. That’s where I belong, where everything is calmer and relaxed. City’s are cool and all but in order for me to live a full life I gotta get out of this city.