Progress

Today marks the 10th day I’ve jogged in a row. 

Everyday I’m feeling better about myself. Everyday I’m experiencing new positive feelings in regards to my whole “self”. 

I’ve never in my life, liked my body. I’ve always had issues with how I saw myself. I could never understand what people were seeing when they called me beautiful. I have a father who would repeatedly when I was a teenager tell me about how these woman we see on the street are “beautiful” with their big boobs and long hair. I noticed pretty early on, that these women ( of all ages) were all slim or just overall tiny people. I spent a lot of my teenage years comparing myself to these women, and feeling really crappy about myself.

Never once did he pick out an average or overweight person and fawn over them. I was already having self esteem issues, so hearing that day in and day out was hard. I didn’t know it back then, but I certainly understand it now. 

But for once in my life, I actually smile when I look in the mirror, my negative self talk has turned into empowering positive self talk. I actually enjoy looking at myself in the mirror after many years of shying away from it.

I’m so happy and proud of myself for overcoming these problems, to finally see that beautiful woman that people have told me existed but I couldn’t see her.

Update

I haven’t posted in a while, honestly because there hasn’t been a whole lot going on. 

I’ve reconnected with my best friend, and I feel really good about it.  I was able to be honest and upfront about my feelings. I’m excited to see how that friendship grows from here.

We are seeing my mom and grandma next week and I couldn’t be any more excited for that. Not only do I get to spend some quality time with my mom and grandma, I also get alittle break from this chaos.

Even though we haven’t had much going on, it’s always stressful. But I have figured out ways to deal with everything and to let go of things I can’t control. 

I’ve started jogging. Small jogs but definitely one that will get the pulse going. I’ve done 8 Days so far. I even got the whole family in on today’s jog. 

It’s only up from here. 🙂

Career path?

I’ve always wondered what career path I should take. I’ve never really known the kind of person I am or what I really want.

I’ve thought about counselling for years. But I figured out that I’m too emotional for that. So I’d have to work on separating my own feelings and my work. Which I can do, and it’s still high on the list.

But I’ve been thinking more and more about the way I think and why the world works. I can put myself in others shoes, and feel their emotions. Im can also be opinionated. 

So what about journalism? Reporting news, gathering facts, giving my opinion on world events. Or maybe even having an advice column? I’m so excited to start this new adventure. :)!

Small town vs city 

The debate has cross my mind often. And for a while I wanted to stay in the city because everything is here. I loved most of my life here so of course I’m going to want to stay.

But recently I’ve taken some trips to some small towns, and I’m reminded why I like them more.

You see, I’m super compassionate and kind. And living in a city will not allow that. The more people,the more amentities, the more “busy” everything gets. There’s a certain hustle and bustle of a city. 

But in small towns everything is slower, people are nicer, and more patient. That’s where I belong, where everything is calmer and relaxed. City’s are cool and all but in order for me to live a full life I gotta get out of this city.

New me

I’ve been up to things. I decided I would completely redo my resume. And I’m learning more about myself and what work ethic I have. This new resume is setting myself up for a new professional stand point after vaca. I’m super excited to get back and start my new job search. I want to start putting these skills to the test.