Progress

Today marks the 10th day I’ve jogged in a row. 

Everyday I’m feeling better about myself. Everyday I’m experiencing new positive feelings in regards to my whole “self”. 

I’ve never in my life, liked my body. I’ve always had issues with how I saw myself. I could never understand what people were seeing when they called me beautiful. I have a father who would repeatedly when I was a teenager tell me about how these woman we see on the street are “beautiful” with their big boobs and long hair. I noticed pretty early on, that these women ( of all ages) were all slim or just overall tiny people. I spent a lot of my teenage years comparing myself to these women, and feeling really crappy about myself.

Never once did he pick out an average or overweight person and fawn over them. I was already having self esteem issues, so hearing that day in and day out was hard. I didn’t know it back then, but I certainly understand it now. 

But for once in my life, I actually smile when I look in the mirror, my negative self talk has turned into empowering positive self talk. I actually enjoy looking at myself in the mirror after many years of shying away from it.

I’m so happy and proud of myself for overcoming these problems, to finally see that beautiful woman that people have told me existed but I couldn’t see her.

Update

I haven’t posted in a while, honestly because there hasn’t been a whole lot going on. 

I’ve reconnected with my best friend, and I feel really good about it.  I was able to be honest and upfront about my feelings. I’m excited to see how that friendship grows from here.

We are seeing my mom and grandma next week and I couldn’t be any more excited for that. Not only do I get to spend some quality time with my mom and grandma, I also get alittle break from this chaos.

Even though we haven’t had much going on, it’s always stressful. But I have figured out ways to deal with everything and to let go of things I can’t control. 

I’ve started jogging. Small jogs but definitely one that will get the pulse going. I’ve done 8 Days so far. I even got the whole family in on today’s jog. 

It’s only up from here. 🙂

Achievement Hunter

Anyone into them?

These guys are hilarious. They play video games but their commentary is absolutely golden. I’ve watched them for years off and on.

And they never fail to make me laugh.

Friday :)

Well, Friday is almost over, and I have accomplished almost nothing today.

I haven’t felt well all day so I’ve been hanging out in my bed for the day.

I’m hoping to feel better this weekend so I can get some much needed laundry done. 

I hope everyone has a good Friday and a good weekend 🙂

PSA!

So we currently have a shared yard. I’m not a huge fan but we got what we got.

So one of my neighbours has decided that our yard is a perfect yard for their dog to be tied up in.

And I’m not ok with that. They don’t even watch the dog, so it goes to the bathroom where ever it wants to. And because they don’t pay attention the dog craps, where my daughter plays.

How are people so inconsiderate. It’s a shared yard!! Where kids play!?!?

I wish people thought about these things.

My thoughts

For years, I have had people in my life who either made fun of my problems, joked about them, minimized them, showed no effort to lend a helping hand, called them “ridiculous”, or blame them on my pms, or was told I was being brainwashed.

It’s really no wonder why I have issues expressing and even believing my own feelings.

After all of these years, and after all of the people who couldn’t get passed their own feelings to see mine, I’ve been managing on my own.

Sometimes it’s hard. Sometimes, I struggle so bad internally that I’m exhausted at the end of the day. Because sometimes there are issues that you can only share with a select few, but even then. Sometimes I regret saying anything at all. Sometimes it’s easier for me to pretend that I’m fine. 

Whatever you are feeling….

Whatever you are feeling know it’s okay to feel that way.

No matter what people say, your feelings are your own. Nobody can feel them quite like you do.

Sometimes people don’t understand these feelings. But, what matters is that we understand these feelings and learn how to deal with them.