My thoughts

For years, I have had people in my life who either made fun of my problems, joked about them, minimized them, showed no effort to lend a helping hand, called them “ridiculous”, or blame them on my pms, or was told I was being brainwashed.

It’s really no wonder why I have issues expressing and even believing my own feelings.

After all of these years, and after all of the people who couldn’t get passed their own feelings to see mine, I’ve been managing on my own.

Sometimes it’s hard. Sometimes, I struggle so bad internally that I’m exhausted at the end of the day. Because sometimes there are issues that you can only share with a select few, but even then. Sometimes I regret saying anything at all. Sometimes it’s easier for me to pretend that I’m fine. 

Whatever you are feeling….

Whatever you are feeling know it’s okay to feel that way.

No matter what people say, your feelings are your own. Nobody can feel them quite like you do.

Sometimes people don’t understand these feelings. But, what matters is that we understand these feelings and learn how to deal with them. 

Sunday

Even though school is out, I still need to keep up my regular routine.

Sundays end up being house cleaning day mainly because garbage/recycling are due out tomorrow morning. 

It’s also nicer to wake up to, nice clean house. We spend a lot of time here, I don’t see why it can’t be clean too.

How did everyone else spend their Sundays?

An interesting perspective on immigration.

I will start off by saying, I am all for people starting over, or having to leave their home country due to horrible issues. I’m sorry if I offend anyone.

Recently, I saw an article about how a politician in Poland had said something along the lines of “We didn’t invite refugees, we have a right to say no”.

Now before you lose it, I’ll explain that perspective. There are many things going on in each individual country. Poverty, homelessness, addiction, uneven income/cost of living, war, famine, you name it. 

The idea is to first focus on the problems that are currently going on in the “home” country, and then open arms to refugees. We as a society, can’t handle people upon people because there are so many issues that are currently happening. It’s super unfortunate, I know. 

But why do we want people coming here, just to experience bullshit situations? Why do we want people coming here and then not being able to survive? We can’t help other people if we ourselves are unhealthy and toxic.

And I think if most of these issues were solved or on the decline, we would be more better equipped to welcome refugees in, so they can experience the good things of your culture.

Holy crap guys! The morning I had…

Literally, I just want to restate the title, holy crap guys, the fricking morning I had…. was full with anxiety, and feelings of scared, worried,irritation the works.

I’m a lot better now, but my anxiety made my morning so much worse than it had to be. My chest hurt, I was nauseous right from 7 this morning to like 1130. I had to attend a legal thing that I had never been part of before. So I was terrified because I had no idea what to do, what to say, where to go. 

Terrified that the other party would tear me to shreads, which thankfully he didn’t. He turned about to be a nice and understanding guy.

It did work out in the end, and I am satisfied with the outcome. I am stronger from that, but this anxiety is really intense.

Anxiety Inducing situations.

I’ve got a big one coming up tomorrow, and am absolutely terrified.

I am constantly put in situations that even though they help me grow, they produce so much anxiety prior to the event. I feel pressure on my chest, and a feeling of dread was over me.

I’m prepared to do the best that I can, and hopefully be prepared enough to get my point across.

I’ve researched, gotten all of my papers together, but I’m still scared because this is a completely new experience for me, and one that has legal ramifications on top of that.

I hope I can do this.

 

The whole idea of my blog.

This is where I can be uncensored and honest. I’m fueled by my emotions, so I may make overreaction posts, but that’s just my knee jerk reaction.

That’s one of my rules here, is no matter what be honest. And if you don’t agree and have an opinion yourself, please do share. But debate the rights and wrongs with me, don’t nitpick what I’m saying.

Everyone is going to view what I say differently. If you are offended by something I say, I’m sorry but this is my platform to be BRUTALLY honest. And besides no one is forcing you to read this. If you agree, share,comment or email me with your opinions. I want to be open here, and I won’t censor myself because there are people who are offended by what I say.